2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
