How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
