Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
