Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
