there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
