I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
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You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
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What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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