McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Couch. On fire.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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