you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
