i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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