i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A+ Viking dick
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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