Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
