Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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