So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
