how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize