I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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