i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
