My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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