he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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