I puked a lego.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
