Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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