Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
