I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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