first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
