So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
