You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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