is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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