You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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