Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
