K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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