jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
