i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
