I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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