i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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