I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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