It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
