Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
