Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
