if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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