idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
