You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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