Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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