Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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