Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
