Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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