sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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