I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
