is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
