fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You were trust falling into bushes
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
