I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She said her name was "party"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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