Do you still have your period?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can't turn off my feet"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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