Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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