there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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