she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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