Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
