When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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