Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
