Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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