So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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