haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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