Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
