***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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