my vag is so smooth its legendary
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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