Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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