haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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